Hi everyone! Welcome to the third release of The Coffee Talk, the blog where I talk about my dreams and passions, as well as my fears and strengths! I am aware that it’s been over a month since the last release, but I was busy serving the country and making sure everything is safe for you guys:
Uhm….anyway, I’m back and so excited for this week’s edition and I will try to post every other week again. The rules are obvious: if you’re still in bed, stay right where you are, and if you’re somewhere else, make sure you’re comfy and you have got that morning/afternoon coffee in your left hand while reading this blog post. Let’s dive right into it!
How Bravery is Related to me 🪂
If someone were to have described me five years ago, the adjective “brave” wouldn’t have made the cut for sure. I already shared my younger years with you in the last post, so you should all remember how my schoolmates pretty much sucked and made my life miserable. I became shyer around them, but also others. I held back a lot of thoughts I would have loved to share with my closest friends or family members or whoever. Me, the one who was always talking, became a listener. And not the active kind, I mostly just sat by people in conversation and didn’t say a word for half an hour. That probably was all due to my fear of being rejected. And that fear is still present to this day. In new situations, in familiar situations, among my best friends, among strangers—this fear carries me. I’m trying to work on it, and I’ve made quite some progress in the past months.
The funny thing is, I know that being courageous is one of my biggest strengths. I just don’t know how to evoke this gift in some situations. A few years ago—I believe I was seventeen years old—I had two people pray prophetically over me. I didn’t know them, it was an offer at a big camp I went to, so they first asked me what my name was. They started to pray and kept switching my name for Joshua. Joshua. Joshua?! It doesn’t even sound close to my name. And every time they said it wrong, they were like “I’m so sorry, Nicolas” and went on. In the end, they made it clear to me that it wasn’t an accident they kept saying “Joshua”. After having prayed for me, they told me that Joshua was a leader, just like me. Joshua took over Moses’s position as Israel’s leader, even though he was very scared for it. He proved that he was brave enough, because he knew that God would help him lead those people.
A few months later, I played Joshua in a musical camp. I PLAYED JOSHUA. And once again, it was about how Joshua was afraid to take this responsibility on him, but he eventually decided on the plan the Lord had prepared for him. I’m pretty sure that Joshua 1, 9 was my annual verse in one of the past years. It says this:
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1,9
To sum up everything, I am born to be courageous and make an impact. I don’t know sh*t about that yet, but I’m trying to learn it. I also feel like I need a constant reminder to tell me “you’re brave”; because I am. I just don’t know it.
Proof That I am Brave 🧾
I just laughed out loud because of this subtitle. Nevertheless, I do have proof that this is one of my callings. A very significant point is my recruiting school. This is my first week home after eighteen weeks in the service. I usually was allowed to come home for the weekend, but the last two weeks I had to stay in the bunker with people that I didn’t admire. With principles and concepts that make absolutely no sense to me. With no one to talk to about Jesus. No one to hug me. No one to—okay, it’s getting too dramatic. However, those eighteen weeks were tough ones. Not because of the job and duties I had to do, but because of the courage it took me to fully embrace it and suffer through it. It is hard to explain and possibly hard to imagine for you, but basically: Spiritually seen, this atmosphere was a piece of crap. The only positive quality all of those young men had acquired after so many weeks there was helping others without being asked. That was cool. But in every other way, the military was a challenge to me. I never thought I’d do it. But I made it. And I did it to prove it to myself.
From my past, I know that I am an easy target. Especially in the military amongst toxically masculine men. I hate beer. I’m a vegetarian. I can drive, but only automatic cars. I’m a student. I have no money. I have other values than them. I don’t smoke. I don’t smoke weed. I don’t vape. I don’t have sexual relations for fun with strange girls. I am different. And I love that. I love that so much about me, that I was more than glad that I am different. Of course, those people jokingly offended me sometimes, and fifteen-year-old me probably would’ve cried about it in the bathroom. But guess what—I got stronger. I stopped taking everything personally. I joked about it. I laughed with them at their vegetarian jokes. I had interesting conversations just about that; vegetarianism. But they all respected me. They didn’t know my story, and that was more than okay. I didn’t want them to know. Lesson #1 for today: Different doesn’t mean wrong. It means you’re special. You’re unique in the best possible way there is.
Nonetheless, there are thousands of small situations in my everyday life where I turn out to be brave. I like calling people on their phones now. I used to poop my pants because of that. I see it as a success when I dare to speak up and share my ideas with others. I dare to ask people if I want to know something. I dare to talk to people when I once was afraid they didn’t want to talk to me and are annoyed with me. Where there once was fear, there is now courage. At least it’s becoming more and more like that. The fears I had only held me back from being and becoming who I am now. That’s why this blog post is called “why fear is a liar”. I believed so many lies about myself, and I’m still dealing with some. That’s what I meant when I said I need constant reminders that I’m brave enough. I also need reminders that I am loved. That I am good enough. That I am handsome. All those little things one should know about themselves. One of my favorite worship songs right now says exactly that:
When he told you you're not good enough
When he told you you're not right
When he told you you're not strong enough
To put up a good fight
When he told you you're not worthy
When he told you you're not loved
When he told you you're not beautiful
That you'll never be enoughFear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
'Cause fear he is a liar1
So take this song as an encouragement if you still struggle with believing all those good things about yourself! Because you are enough. You are so loved. You are important. You matter so much more than you think. Your life is priceless!
Devotional 🙏🏼
I’m going to end this post off with the devotional, skipping the book club for today because the first part was long enough. Other verses that talk about fear and bravery are Philippians 4, Verses 6 and 13:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. […] I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.
Pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it? It is He who gives us strength and courage and stability. Therefore, let us hold on to Him.
Prayer ♔
Lord Almighty, I pray that You bring Your promises to my attention more often and let me taste more of Your goodness every day. I know You mean well with me, and You can cast out all fear. Let me be brave with You so that I can come out of my comfort zone and shine in all kinds of situations. I declare that fear is a liar, and I am braver than I think. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Be Blessed 👑
Thank you so much for reading through all of my thoughts and problems, it means so much to me! If there’s anything that touched you in this post, and may that be just one of you readers, I feel like it was more than worth it. I love sharing my thoughts and by writing them down, I’m helping myself understand those issues I have and I can begin to work on them much easier. Be blessed wherever you go, and encourage others as often as you encourage yourself! See you ❣️
Williams, Z. (2016). Fear is a Liar [Song]. On Chain Breaker. Essential.